“I should have had my dinner out! You called me for this shit you call dinner?!”
He was at it again. He was late as usual, as if he didn’t take much joy in food or dinners, let alone a conversation over dinner with his parents about his day — but no, his complaints over his mother’s food gave her the impression that it was for food he lived his life for and nothing else. As if he was paying for it, or as if he helped her with it, but then again, it was her job and if she wanted to do it alone, so be it!
“You don’t have to eat any of it if you don’t want to…”
“Then what? You want me to go to bed hungry? If you can’t cook, woman, do yourself a favour and just don’t!”
She wondered why only her first-born had to have some problem eating her food. He always found fault in what she did or made, let alone her cooking. She admitted that she was often too tired to take delight in what she did, but she tried her best and she did mistakes. But was she a paid servant to be punished by his cruel words? Was food more valuable to him than her happiness? Does he treat all women like this or was it only her?
She wasn’t angry but she couldn’t resist herself from asking, maybe…
“Why don’t you help me?”
“It’s all your own fault! Why don’t you get a maid for that? Or didn’t you think of having a daughter? Why should I be doomed …”
“You know we can’t afford one”
“That’s your damn problem!"
And suddenly then he did what he had never done before. In that sudden burst of anger, he spat at his plate and then overturned all the dishes. And for a second, he seemed to have realised that he had lost his senses and was searching for the right words to apologise, but no — he stuck to his anger as if it was justifiable, as if he was right all along.
He stared at her with disgust and revulsion. His eyes were veiled with pure anger, and his face he tried to twist into raw disgust. She wouldn’t take him or his words seriously, he hoped behind all the veils of anger, but how wrong was he.
She was taken back. Her hand shot over to her heart, as if she was afraid it would burst with despair and grief at this very moment. Her eyes continued to be stung by his and she knew they were coming. She turned away and immediately withdrew out of the dining room, that room he had made her hell. Why couldn’t she be like the other mothers? What went wrong between them? She didn’t want to let him see how much grief and sorrow his words could give her, but she also didn’t want him to be ignorant of this.
And then it came but this time she didn’t fight it. The tears.
A mother can be strong but her son’s cruel words can make her weak.
...
She look into the eyes of her little son, the apple of her eye, the extension of her body and soul. Her newest treasure in this world, born of her flesh and blood, and drinking from her too. His eyes were too young to have any veils over his soul, and his face too young to mask his mind. He blinked now and then, but his eyes shot open just as fast as if they were drinking from his mother’s love, just as his mouth was drinking from her milk. She realised then that he loved her more than she loved him, because he was her for much of his life. His heart till just recently knew no home but her womb, but now gradually it was finding its way to her heart. He was from his mother, and in her he found his home.
He stopped when his little stomach was satisfied. But his heart wasn’t and he kept looking at her. For one moment, he appeared to be searching for the right words (thank you), the words she was yet to teach him, but he simply couldn’t. But there was one think he could do though. And she knew it was coming, and she smiled.
He smiled back with her smile, and then stopped as if he didn’t want her to see that he had no teeth, but she knew very well that he didn’t. She kissed him. Nothing could go wrong between them.
The smile, that same smile he learnt from her, adorned his face again. This time he didn’t fight it. The smiles.
A mother can be weak but her son’s smile can make her strong.
He was at it again. He was late as usual, as if he didn’t take much joy in food or dinners, let alone a conversation over dinner with his parents about his day — but no, his complaints over his mother’s food gave her the impression that it was for food he lived his life for and nothing else. As if he was paying for it, or as if he helped her with it, but then again, it was her job and if she wanted to do it alone, so be it!
“You don’t have to eat any of it if you don’t want to…”
“Then what? You want me to go to bed hungry? If you can’t cook, woman, do yourself a favour and just don’t!”
She wondered why only her first-born had to have some problem eating her food. He always found fault in what she did or made, let alone her cooking. She admitted that she was often too tired to take delight in what she did, but she tried her best and she did mistakes. But was she a paid servant to be punished by his cruel words? Was food more valuable to him than her happiness? Does he treat all women like this or was it only her?
She wasn’t angry but she couldn’t resist herself from asking, maybe…
“Why don’t you help me?”
“It’s all your own fault! Why don’t you get a maid for that? Or didn’t you think of having a daughter? Why should I be doomed …”
“You know we can’t afford one”
“That’s your damn problem!"
And suddenly then he did what he had never done before. In that sudden burst of anger, he spat at his plate and then overturned all the dishes. And for a second, he seemed to have realised that he had lost his senses and was searching for the right words to apologise, but no — he stuck to his anger as if it was justifiable, as if he was right all along.
He stared at her with disgust and revulsion. His eyes were veiled with pure anger, and his face he tried to twist into raw disgust. She wouldn’t take him or his words seriously, he hoped behind all the veils of anger, but how wrong was he.
She was taken back. Her hand shot over to her heart, as if she was afraid it would burst with despair and grief at this very moment. Her eyes continued to be stung by his and she knew they were coming. She turned away and immediately withdrew out of the dining room, that room he had made her hell. Why couldn’t she be like the other mothers? What went wrong between them? She didn’t want to let him see how much grief and sorrow his words could give her, but she also didn’t want him to be ignorant of this.
And then it came but this time she didn’t fight it. The tears.
A mother can be strong but her son’s cruel words can make her weak.
...
She look into the eyes of her little son, the apple of her eye, the extension of her body and soul. Her newest treasure in this world, born of her flesh and blood, and drinking from her too. His eyes were too young to have any veils over his soul, and his face too young to mask his mind. He blinked now and then, but his eyes shot open just as fast as if they were drinking from his mother’s love, just as his mouth was drinking from her milk. She realised then that he loved her more than she loved him, because he was her for much of his life. His heart till just recently knew no home but her womb, but now gradually it was finding its way to her heart. He was from his mother, and in her he found his home.
He stopped when his little stomach was satisfied. But his heart wasn’t and he kept looking at her. For one moment, he appeared to be searching for the right words (thank you), the words she was yet to teach him, but he simply couldn’t. But there was one think he could do though. And she knew it was coming, and she smiled.
He smiled back with her smile, and then stopped as if he didn’t want her to see that he had no teeth, but she knew very well that he didn’t. She kissed him. Nothing could go wrong between them.
The smile, that same smile he learnt from her, adorned his face again. This time he didn’t fight it. The smiles.
A mother can be weak but her son’s smile can make her strong.
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